The year I wasn’t diagnosed with borderline

Currently working on a Creative Non-fiction short piece and these memories started coming up. A short piece about 2010.

Content warnings apply. Scroll to the bottom for a list.


i remember cutting a freckle off my stomach

with the same sharpener blade i used to try and sever my veins

and put a better point on my writing pencils

(but never the colouring ones)


i remember making cyberman noise with a pair of crutches

while waiting for the housemum to finish with study help

so i could tell her i needed to go to hospital

(for eleven stitches and my first psych admission)


i remember the shower block fans had to be on

drowned out by the daily chatter of friends

in turn masking the sounds of my vomiting

(afraid they’d mock me for taking long showers)


i remember cleaning the kitchen at 1am

spilled sugar more important than possible punishment

running up and down stairs, jumping up and down chairs

(crying and rocking my head wouldn’t stop)



Content warnings: Self harm, eating disorder, suicide.


About frenzysista

Hannah has often been informed that she is intelligent and has the potential to achieve great things. She generally agrees that the potential could be there but is also a terrible procrastinator and lazy to boot. She currently resides in Victoria and lavishes about 38% of her attention on studying the mystical thing that is the creative arts. The other 62% of her time is divided unevenly between celebrating her fandoms online, sleeping, learning how not to talk to people and saving the world. Oh, and writing. Definitely that thing. In other words, you're reading the thoughts of one highly opinionated, entirely sleep deprived fangirl-y adult
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